You know what, today, I finally figured out something–I’m a fool. When I was talking with PS about Max doesn’t get anything and Blah, Blah, Blah…It suddenly occurred on me that when I was even as old as a middle school student, I still wasn’t able to take in anything, either. Not a single clue of what was going on about my life and what it will be like in the future, but since the others were pretty much some nerds too, so that was’t so obvious anyway. But, but if I could sense something seriously, I wouldn’t end up like now.
The whole Chinese educational system is a large mistake itself and thus my life turns out to be one of those tregedies that they will probably be proud to say that they created it! They taught you only not the winning point! I’m not a failure academically, but emotionally, socialy, practically…I’m no better than Max!
Let’s make something clear then. I was not born in some normal family, to put it another way, the last thing in the world that the parents will do is to put some real effort to change their own life and since you are the only one who’s struggling for it, they doubt it too. I’m not making any complaints here as it wouldn’t be fair but what I truly want to make clear is: People are never born even and half of the world knows not how the other half lives. Plus, you can never talk some people into some real sense.
When people asked me: where’s your crazy hair? today, once again, technically, I can not do that. Frustrated, if you want to put some words to summaries how’s my life, that would always be the right word to use to suit each and every period of my life so far.
Ok, enough moaning, let’s get rid of that. Something that cheers me up recently is: you see, there are a lot of people who lives up to my criteria! As far as I know there are already 5 of them: a good-looking English man who lived in Janpan for 3 years married a Japanese lady who now have two kids, a boy and a girl who are as lovely as lovely can be!; A pianist form Netherland who lived in Japan for 10 years married a Chinese woman; Someone I don’t know yet; A close friend of mine who now lives in somewhere America, Iowa if my memory serves me right, is a polinguistic I’ll say, a nearly perfect person to talk to, a person who always lives up to his dream!; And a talented one, but no commets there. So, see…… I told you, there are a lot of people who lives up to my expectiation, it’s just a matter of making myself better.
To end up with, no action is the action plan for now. To my relationship, let’s just wait and see, no rush there since I don’t want my kids end up struggling with those English text book which kept repeating and correcting itself. You know what, I’m not only a fool but somewhat a freak too. I guess that pretty much for THE END.
KC
